I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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