No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i came on her dog
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
