Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
