I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My liver just had a heart attack.
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My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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