1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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