I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
