Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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