But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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