At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
