Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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