You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
