what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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