There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
