I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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