If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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