When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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