We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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