I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
