I think my vagina is haunted
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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