I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
