First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
