Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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