he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
