I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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