Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
