Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
