Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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