so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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