I just cut my nipple shaving
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My vagina is officially offended.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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