sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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