Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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