I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
