and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
