I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
