Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Randomize
