She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
3pm strippers are depressing
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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