walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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