I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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