I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
