If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Tornado booty call.. dedication
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
