The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize