So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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