My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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