I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
