Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I party with great urgency now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
