I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
