did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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