Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
