dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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