help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
