worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
