don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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