SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
this boner is exhausting
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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