I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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