Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
