my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize