oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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