Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
barbara walters just said penis...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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